


The Sleeping Beauty, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Spindle: A Tale of Love and Presents

by chellerrific



Category: Sleeping Beauty – All Media Types
Genre: Evil Fairy, Gen, Good Fairies, Kings & Queens, Princess Bride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-25
Updated: 2005-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-28 22:16:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chellerrific/pseuds/chellerrific
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, there was a king and a queen. Together, they ruled a country. I could tell you which one, but then I’d have to kill you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sleeping Beauty, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Spindle: A Tale of Love and Presents

**Author's Note:**

> A gift for my mother, Christmas 2005.

Once upon a time, there was a king and a queen. Together, they ruled a country. I could tell you which one, but then I’d have to kill you. Anyway, they were ruling, except there was one problem: they didn’t have any heirs. And if a king’s job is to rule his country, it’s his queen’s job to produce an heir. So just to clarify, in the vein of “sucking at being a queen,” this one was batting 1,000.

But then one day, she lucked out, because she realized she was with child. Funnily enough, the king actually noticed it before she did, except he thought she had just been doing a little bit of stress eating, and even though she was batting 1,000 at sucking at being a queen, she was the only one he had, so it really was in his best interests not to call her on a little weight gain. Anyway, when the queen herself realized the truth and told the king, the two were overjoyed, and so was the rest of the kingdom, because really, it kind of sucks not to know who’s going to be ruling you in twenty years or so.

So time passed, and the queen grew larger and larger, until one day she finally gave birth to a bouncing baby… girl. On the plus side, it didn’t ruin her perfect record.

Well, the king tried to be happy anyway, but to be honest he wasn’t very good at it because the queen sensed his dissatisfaction quite clearly (it didn’t help that he went on about not having anyone to take to the Gilded Sox games, or to fix carriages with, or to rule his country when he was gone, or what-have-you—paltry grievances to the queen’s mind).

But the baby was a girl and that was that and life went on. They named her Aurora (the king wanted to call her Jennifer, but what did he know) and set the date for her christening.

They invited everyone to the christening, even the Wilsons from across the way even though they always threw loud parties at inappropriate times and had a dog that barked endlessly in the middle of the night, because it would be bad form not to invite all of them. Well, when I said they invited everyone, I mean everyone except the evil fairy. The evil fairy didn’t throw loud parties at inappropriate times, nor did she have a dog that barked endlessly in the middle of the night, which, to the king’s mind, put her a bit ahead of the Wilsons, but she did have that whole evil thing going on, so in the end they didn’t invite her. (Plus, they heard she owned a Colt .45 that she always carried with her, and also that she voted Republican.)

The christening took place as scheduled, and everyone (that was invited) showed up, and they all gave delightful presents, except the Wilsons, who gave them a set of plastic dishware for two with tacky blue and orange pigs painted on (the king made a note to his advisor to remember this at tax time).

The last ones to present their gifts were the three good fairies, Emerald, Diamond, and Ruby. The king had done it this way on purpose because he knew they would give the best gifts and he wanted to make sure that people like the Wilsons were properly ashamed. And, of course, the fairies did not disappoint.

Emerald bestowed upon Aurora grace, so that she would always carry herself like a princess. Diamond bestowed upon Aurora whimsy, so that she would always be able to charm like a princess. And Ruby bestowed upon Aurora—

Wait, not so fast. Just as Ruby was about to take her turn bestowing, there was a small explosion and a large puff of smoke. The attendants shrieked in surprise.

“Will someone get that damn fog machine out of here?” the king cried.

A couple of servants rushed forward to take the offending machine away, and Ruby turned to get back to her bestowing.

That was when the evil fairy showed up. She just barged right in (no manners, I tell you, but then, she was evil) and stormed up beside Ruby. “Stop right there!” she cried.

“Down in front!” someone in the back cried.

The evil fairy ignored him, which was just as well because he had only paid for the cheap seats, and when you penny-pinch, you have to live with it.

“Didn’t see it fit to invite me, I see?”

“W—what?” sputtered the king, terribly afraid she was going to turn him into a frog or a gazelle or… or worse, a Jehovah’s Witness (damned if he was going to give up his birthday without a fight). “You didn’t get your invitation? Preposterous! I know I sent it out! Must… must have gotten lost in the mail or something! You know postmen these days, can’t bloody rely on them for anything! Almost as bad as electricians anymore.”

“Hey!” cried the postman, for to insult a postman’s ability to complete his job was to insult a postman’s pride, his moral fiber, his very manliness!

“Oh, stop,” said the evil fairy. “There never was any invitation.”

The king gasped. “How did she know? Can she read minds? Black magic! Evil sorceress!”

“It’s called common sense, you dolt. Besides, you just admitted it.”

“Drat!” cried the king. “Outsmarted again!”

The queen wisely decided not to remark.

“Anyway, you’re in luck. Out of the goodness of my heart, I decided to overlook this oversight and come anyway. In fact, I even decided to bring a gift.”

“A gift?” cried the king, his eyes lighting up. “Oh, you—”

“Quiet!” hissed the queen. “She’s evil, you twit. Therefore, it logically stands to reason that her gift will be evil as well.”

“My dear, have you never heard that saying about… horses and mouths? How did it go again? Don’t look a mouth in the… Never look a horse… Wait, horses? You brought a pony, didn’t you!” He practically danced in his seat.

“No,” said the evil fairy, not smiling.

“A puppy, then?”

The evil fairy raised her eyebrow, then turned to the queen. “You know, I’m beginning to feel sorry for you.”

“Eh, it’s a living,” the queen said with a sigh and shrug, for it was true. After all, her father was only a baron.

“Anyway, I really haven’t the time for this. I have an appointment with my stylist. With this humid weather, I simply can’t do a thing with my hair on my own.”

“Surely you’re joking!” cried the queen. “It looks fabulous.”

“Oh, you flatter me!” said the evil fairy, though she couldn’t help a bit of preening.

“Not at all!” the queen insisted. “How do you get it to curl in the back like that?”

“Well, if you must know my secret—”

“Ahem!” the king interrupted loudly. “Where’s my damned puppy!”

The evil fairy blinked, and then all at once she seemed to remember where she was. “Oh! Right! The gift!” She stepped up to Aurora’s crib and peered in. “Let’s see… what was it to be…?”

The king crossed his fingers and whispered furiously under his breath, “Puppy! Puppy! Puppy!”

“Oh! Yes. On the eve of your sixteenth birthday, you will prick your finger on a spindle and die.”

Everyone gasped.

“NOOO!” cried the king.

“Um,” the queen chimed in, “we… don’t use spinning wheels anymore.”

“No?” The evil fairy blinked again.

The queen shook her head. “We modernized eight months ago after the spinning girls complained about pricking their fingers on the spindles all the time. The blood left awful stains anyway.”

“Shoot,” the evil fairy said, snapping her fingers. “I knew I shouldn’t have cancelled my subscription to Modern Witch.” But she was not to be deterred. “Fine. On the eve of your sixteenth birthday, you will prick your finger on… whatever it is that’s used in place of spindles and die.”

Everyone gasped again.

“NOOO!” cried the king again.

“You can’t!” cried the queen.

“Oh, but I can! And did! Now I really must be going or I’ll miss that appointment. I’ve got a date with the evil warlock from the next kingdom over tonight and I cannot go looking like this. If you’ll all excuse me!” And with that, she was gone.

“What on earth has just happened?” the queen wailed, at a loss.

“I don’t understand either!” the king replied. “I’d heard she was married to her cauldron!”

“No, you idiot! I meant about the curse!”

“Oh, that! Seriously, though! I was expecting a puppy.”

The queen burst into tears.

It was then that Ruby stepped forward, meekly clearing her throat.

“Yes?” asked the king.

“All hope is not lost,” said Ruby. “I have not yet given my gift.”

“Oh, joy!” the king cried, leaping to his feet. “Do you hear that, dear? Ruby has not yet given her gift!”

The queen looked up, her eyes shining. “That’s true! You mean… you think you can solve our problem?”

“I might be able to help,” said Ruby with a nod.

“Yes!” the king shouted. “Get on with it! Where’s the puppy?”

The queen backhanded him.

“Er… that’s not what I meant,” said Ruby. She stepped up to Aurora’s cradle. “I can’t undo the evil fairy’s curse entirely, but I can lessen it. You will still prick your finger on the eve of your sixteenth birthday, but you shall not perish. Instead, you will fall into a deep sleep for one hundred years.”

“What? That still sucks!” said the king. “I’d rather have the puppy.”

“Oh, thank you!” the queen broke in. “Thank you for doing what you could to undo that wicked, awful woman’s work. All though I wish I’d gotten the secret to her hair care…”

“Actually, Your Majesty,” Emerald said, stepping up beside Ruby. She glanced around and lowered her voice before speaking, though it wasn’t wholly necessary; the whole death curse thing kind of killed the party, and the hall was pretty much empty by this time. “Diamond, Ruby, and myself might be able to do even more to keep this terrible curse from coming true.”

“Oh, anything!” cried the queen, clasping her hands.

“We could take her into our care until after she is sixteen, keeping her whereabouts secret from the world, even keeping her identity secret from Aurora herself. This way, the curse can’t possibly come true!”

The queen considered this carefully. “I wouldn’t get to see my baby grow up…”

“Think about it, though, Your Majesty,” Emerald pressed, taking another step forward. “One hundred years? By the time she wakes up, no one’s going to want to marry her.”

The queen gasped. Indeed, being unwed for one hundred sixteen years was just about the worst fate imaginable for a princess.

“All right,” said the queen. “I see there’s no alternative. But please. Let us have one day with her before you take her away.”

“Are you sure she’s going to be safe with you?” the king spoke up then, unable to hide the skepticism in his voice.

“Absolutely,” said Ruby. “The three of us are all degree seven black belts in judo.”

“Actually, I’m nearly ninth,” Diamond pointed out.

“Yes, Diamond, we know, as you like to point that out at every possible opportunity,” Ruby said with a sigh of exasperation.

“Don’t hate me because I’m a deadly weapon,” said Diamond.

“Anyway,” Emerald interrupted, “it’s a day you asked for, and thusly it’s a day you will get. The three of us will be back at first light tomorrow to take her to safety. Come, let’s go.”

“Shotgun!” cried Ruby, and then three of them were gone.

*

The next morning, the three fairies returned as promised. The queen was in tears, the king doing his best to comfort her.

“Goodbye,” said the queen, barely able to get the word out. “We’ll see you in a few years.”

“Be good to her, won’t you?” said the king.

“Of course,” said Diamond. “We’ll take care of Briar Rose as if she were our own.”

“Briar Rose?” the king repeated.

“Yes; that’s what we’ve decided to call her,” Diamond explained. “After all, we can’t keep on calling her Aurora. It would be a little suspicious.”

“And you thought Jennifer was weird,” the king muttered to the queen.

And then the fairies left, the tiny infant nestled, sleeping, in Emerald’s arms. They took her far, right out of her own kingdom and into the woods of the next one over, where the three fairies kept their summer home.

“Now,” said Emerald once they got there, laying Briar Rose down into her new crib. “We are no longer Emerald, Diamond, and Ruby, the fairies. Instead, we are three simple judo masters keeping to ourselves out here in the woods. Briar Rose is our niece. Like she is going by a different name, so shall we.”

“Ooh, ooh!” cried Ruby. “I know! Clarinet, Tympani, and Violin!”

“Those are ridiculous,” said Diamond. “How about Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday?”

“No way! Chlorine, Florine, and Bromine!”

“Willow, Ash, Maple!”

“Tom, Dick, Harry!”

“Will you stop!” cried Emerald. “We’re going to be April, May, and June.”

“Ooh, I call May!” Ruby said immediately.

“I wanted to be May!” Diamond whined.

“Too bad. I called it.”

“Oh, fine. I’ll be April, then.”

“Very well,” Emerald sighed. “It’s settled. From this moment on, the last three hundred twenty-six years of our lives never happened, got it?”

Diamond and Ruby nodded.

“Good,” said Emerald. “Now, who’s making dinner?”

“Not it!” cried Ruby and Diamond.

Emerald sighed. It was going to be a long sixteen years.

Back at the castle that night, the king went out and bought a puppy. It ran away inside of a week. He cried for a solid hour.

*

And so the weeks passed, and the weeks turned into months, which then turned into years. Briar Rose, under the loving care of her aunts April, May, and June, grew into a lovely young judo master. In fact, she mastered the art so quickly the three women could scarcely believe it. The grace bestowed by June and the whimsy bestowed by April helped her become a swift, creative fighting machine.

The four of them lived a peaceful life in the woods, content to leave the locals alone and in turn be left alone by them. The idea of fairies and princesses and evil curses seemed so far removed from the life they knew that the older women seemed to forget about it entirely.

But Briar Rose was growing up, and quite a bit more quickly than they would have thought. Before they knew it, she was fifteen, and the time the curse was supposed to come to pass was drawing close. It was June who first pointed this out to the others, and it seemed to jerk them out of the fake life they’d been leading for the last decade and a half.

“Where is Briar Rose, by the way?” June asked.

“Off frolicking in the woods,” said May.

“By herself?” June asked.

“Oh, come on,” said April. “She’s a degree eight black belt, better than the three of us except maybe me I might add. She’ll be fine.”

April was right; Briar Rose was fine on her own. If anybody tried to follow her, she could take them out. Coincidentally enough, as the preceding conversation was taking place, Briar Rose had just taken out someone who was following her.

“Why are you following me?” she demanded, her stalker pinned firmly to the ground.

“Are you a ninja?” he asked in awe.

“No, I’m a degree eight black belt in judo,” she replied. “But, if you must know, I’ve sort of always had a dream to become a ninja.” She blushed slightly. “Why? Do you think I could become one?”

“Well, I’m sure I’ve never met a ninja,” he said, “but you’re certainly the closest.”

Her blush deepened, and she released her grip on him, toeing the ground shyly. “You’re trying to flatter me.”

“No!” he said, sitting up. “I’m just being honest.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He paused, then held out his hand. “I’m Phillip, by the way.”

“Briar Rose,” she replied, shaking it.

“Briar Rose?” Phillip repeated. “That’s unusual. Practically all the girls in town are called Jennifer.”

“I’ve never met a Jennifer,” Briar Rose admitted.

“That’s bizarre,” said Phillip. “Where do you live?”

“Not far from here,” said Briar Rose, motioning in the direction of home. “I live with my three aunts. None of them are named Jennifer.”

“Wait. You mean to tell me you live out here all alone?”

“Is that the way it came out? Because if so, no, that’s not what I mean to tell you. I mean to tell you I live out here with my three aunts.”

“I meant alone as in the four of you.”

“Four people can’t be alone. They can be together, but they can’t be alone. To be alone means to have no one else present, to be on one’s own.”

“You’re being too literal.”

“You’re misusing the word.”

“Whatever. My point is, the four of you live out her a—away from everybody else?”

“Yes. In fact,” said Briar Rose, “now that I think on it, you’re the first person besides my aunts I’ve ever met.”

“You’re kidding me,” said Phillip.

“Why would I do that?” Briar Rose blinked. “Well, it’s possible I met someone long ago, but I don’t remember it, so it doesn’t count.”

“Why do they keep you out here away from everyone else?”

Briar Rose shrugged. “For a long time I thought that was how everybody lived, but I think I get that it’s not. It’s just how we live.”

“That’s weird.”

“You’re weird,” Briar Rose replied. “If it’s so weird to be out here alone, why are you?”

“I’m just taking a walk,” said Phillip. “I like getting away from everyone sometimes. It’s peaceful out here, isn’t it?”

“I’m sure I don’t know any other way for it to be,” Briar Rose pointed out.

“Well, then, I suppose you’ll have to take my word for it,” said Phillip.

“Okay,” said Briar Rose.

“Rose!” June’s voice came across the woods then.

“Ah, that’s my Aunt June,” said Briar Rose. “I’ve got to go.” She turned to leave.

“Wait,” said Phillip. “If I come back here tomorrow, will you?”

“Maybe!” said Briar Rose, running home.

*

Briar Rose and Phillip met in that same place each day after that. Briar Rose taught Phillip judo, and Phillip taught Briar Rose about the city. They’d been carrying on for three weeks when Phillip asked Briar Rose to go with him into town.

“I don’t know,” said Briar Rose. “I don’t think my aunts would approve.”

“You’re nearly sixteen,” Phillip pointed out. “Can’t they let you make your own decisions? After all, it’s a little silly of them to keep you away from everyone like this.”

Briar Rose considered this. “All right,” she said finally. “I’ll tell them that tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll go to town.”

Phillip grinned. “Perfect,” he said, standing. “I’ll see you then.”

“Right,” said Briar Rose, and she started on her way home.

Phillip watched her until she was out of sight, and then went the opposite way to his home.

When Briar Rose arrived back at the house, she immediately thought something was wrong; the house was dark, and she couldn’t hear her aunts inside. When she opened the door and slipped inside, it only took her 0.5 seconds to locate the closest intruder, and she quickly knocked them to the floor before flicking on the light.

“Aunt May!” Briar Rose cried, quickly helping her up. “I thought you were—” She stopped, looking around. There was a large banner hanging from the ceiling that read HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROSE. June and April were standing on either side of the table, upon which was a large cake.

“…Surprise,” said April.

“Oh!” cried Briar Rose. “My birthday! But it’s not until…” She blinked. “Oh my gosh! It’s tomorrow!”

“That’s right,” said June. “And tomorrow, we have an even more special surprise for you. For tonight, let’s have cake.”

Briar Rose was so taken aback that her conversation with Phillip was forgotten, and they all had cake. It was chocolate.

The next morning, April, May, and June awoke bright and early, bursting with nerves and excitement. The eve of Briar Rose’s sixteenth birthday had passed, and nothing had happened. They had managed to keep the curse from coming true after all.

They woke Briar Rose, telling her nothing of what they had planned for the day. They made her clean herself carefully, even the parts behind her ears, though they could not convince her to wear a dress no matter how hard they tried (the skirts would make it too difficult to neutralize an opponent, she insisted). At last they decided they were wasting too much time and gave up, hurrying Briar Rose out the door.

Briar Rose asked repeatedly where they were going, but it was to no avail. Her aunts would not tell her. It took them nearly all day to get there, but finally, just as it was getting to be dusk, they reached the castle.

Having never been to town, this was quite an experience for Briar Rose. She kept craning her head and gawking, trying to take in all the sights at once. There were so many people! She had never imagined quite so many people even existed.

“What is this?” Briar Rose asked as they crossed the drawbridge to the castle.

“It’s a castle,” June explained. “The king and queen live here.”

“W—why are we going here?” asked Briar Rose, confused. “Are they throwing me a party? Is it customary for—?”

“It’s a party, of sorts,” said May.

It was then that they reached the great hall of the castle, and when they entered, all those gathered—and there were a lot—burst into cheers.

At the other end of the hall, the king and queen, looking nervous, stood.

Trailing behind April, May, and June, Briar Rose crossed the hall. She had never felt more nonplussed in her entire life.

When they were not five yards from the king and queen, the three women stopped and turned. “Briar Rose, we have something to tell you,” said June. “We’re not really judo masters.”

“Actually, we sort of are, especially me,” said April.

June ignored her. “We’re Emerald, Diamond, and Ruby, the three good fairies.”

Briar Rose blinked.

“And you’re Aurora, the princess of this land.”

“Huh?” said Briar Rose.

“Now I know this is something of a shock, but—”

“Wait. Does this mean I can’t be a ninja?”

The three women exchanged glances. “Uh… no, you can’t be a ninja,” said Ruby.

“But—”

“Don’t you understand, Aurora?” said Diamond. “You’re a princess. No more living alone out in the woods. No more studying judo. No more being poor. You can have everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“I want to be a ninja,” Briar Rose pointed out.

“Well, except for that,” Diamond amended.

And before Briar Rose could say another word, the party began in earnest. There was much food and drink and merrymaking and, of course, gifts. And for the first time in her life, Briar Rose felt terribly, terribly alone.

It was then, with a gasp, that she remembered Phillip. He had probably waited all day for her and she had never come. She felt absolutely dreadful, and considered slipping away right then.

Emerald seemed to sense this, for she was at Briar Rose’s side in an instant. “Why don’t you look at your gifts?” she suggested. Gifts were the best way to run interference, she knew.

Briar Rose sighed, and started to examine them as suggested. She would wait for another chance to slip away. “Oh, what’s this?”

“A sewing machine,” said Emerald. She started. “Wait—”

But it was too late. “Ow!” cried Briar Rose, jerking her finger away. Before anyone could react, she was on the floor, out cold.

It was then that the evil fairy appeared. “Happy birthday, Aurora!” she cried, knocking back a mai tai.

“Wait a minute, that’s no fair!” cried Diamond. “You said on the eve of her sixteenth birthday! That’s already passed!”

“What? No it hasn’t,” said the evil fairy. “It’s the eve of her sixteenth birthday right now. And there she is, pricked finger and all. Hey, is that a Singer?”

“No, no, no,” said Ruby. “The eve of her sixteenth birthday was last night.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s sixteen today, not yesterday.”

“Right,” said Ruby. “Which makes the eve of her sixteenth birthday last night.”

The evil fairy blinked. “No way.”

“Yes way.”

The evil fairy laughed. “What do you know! I always thought when you said ‘the eve of,’ it meant that night.”

“No,” said Emerald, shaking her head. “It means the night before.”

“Well, I’ll be!” The evil fairy slapped her knee, grabbing another mai tai. “My bad. Ah, well. You live, you learn. Hey, I’ve got to split now, though you all know I hate to leave so soon, but I’m the guest lecturer at the community college and I’m on in twenty minutes, so. Ciao!” And she was gone.

“How could she not know what ‘the eve of’ means?” Ruby said, annoyed. “Seriously. And she’s lecturing at a college? Give me a break!”

“I know!” cried Diamond. “What an idiot!”

“My baby!” cried the queen, hurrying up to Briar Rose. She cradled her unconscious body in her arms.

“Oh, yeah,” said Ruby.

“One hundred years,” sighed Diamond.

They put Rose on the bed in the room that was to be hers and closed the doors.

“There’s only one thing we can do,” said Emerald, and Diamond and Ruby agreed. Without another word, they put the rest of the kingdom to sleep along with Rose, not to be awoken for one hundred years.

*

Phillip was in trouble. Not only was he in trouble, but he was upset. His parents had made sure that he knew where he had to be and when, and he had blown them off on purpose so that he could meet Briar Rose. And then she hadn’t even shown up.

By the time night fell, he realized she wasn’t coming. Still he waited, hoping against hope. Finally he realized the he could wait no more, and if he hurried, he could still make it for the party, and maybe he wouldn’t get in too much trouble after all.

He ran to where he’d reigned his horse, Horse, and spurred her into action. He reached the party not long after, because he knew the shortcuts and had trained Horse to handle rough terrain.

He dismounted outside and hurried on in.

Inside, he was met with a strange sight: everyone was asleep.

“Must have been some party,” he muttered. Then he saw his parents, slumped near the king and queen of this kingdom, also snoozing soundly.

“Mother,” he said, shaking them. “Father. I’m sorry I’m late, but I—” He stopped abruptly. Neither of them had given any response. “Father? Mother?” He shook them harder. Nothing. He shook the king and queen. No response. He ran around the hall, shouting at and shaking practically everyone, but not one of them even stirred.

Something strange was going on. He dashed upstairs, still calling out. All was deadly silent. He opened doors as he ran, but in every room that wasn’t empty, the occupants were exactly as the partiers downstairs.

He continued to ascend, certain he would find someone who could give him answers. That was when he reached the bedroom.

“Hello?” He opened the door. “He—” He stopped, his eyes falling on the room’s sole sleeping occupant. It was Briar Rose.

He ran to her. “Rose!” he cried. “What on earth are you doing here?” He took her hand in his. It was ice cold, but she was still breathing. “I waited in the woods for you all day. I wanted to tell you the truth about me, that I’m really the crown prince of the kingdom. I was supposed to come to this stupid party with my parents because it was for this princess that I was supposed to be betrothed to, but I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to be betrothed to her. I wanted to spend the day with you. I didn’t know what I’d do when you didn’t show up. And now I’m here and something weird has happened and on top of that you’re here and whatever the weird thing is it’s happened to you as well.” He brushed her hair from her forehead. “I wish you’d wake up and tell me what’s going on. I wish you’d wake up. I wish…” And then he leaned over and kissed her.

Her eyelids fluttered open.

Next thing Phillip knew, he was flat on his back, and Rose once again had him pinned to the ground. It was like déjà vu all over again. “What the hell do you think you—Phillip?”

“You’re awake!” he cried. And then, with surprising strength, he sat up, nearly knocking her backwards, and grabbed her in a hug. “Oh, thank goodness. Listen, something weird has happened—”

“You’re telling me,” said Briar Rose, suddenly remembering everything. “My aunts took me to this castle, where there was this party for my birthday, except they aren’t my aunts, they’re fairies, and they said I’m a princess or something.”

Phillip pulled back, looking at her, startled. “You what?”

“Isn’t that ridiculous?”

Phillip blinked. Suddenly, he leapt to his feet, jerking Briar Rose up with him.

“What are you doing—?”

But he was already running back down the stairs, Briar Rose trailing behind him.

Down in the great hall, the partiers were coming to their senses. They didn’t quite understand what had happened, but they assumed it had something to do with the mai tais.

“Aurora!” cried the queen when she saw her, running to hug her. “You’re okay!”

“Phillip!” cried his mother, the other queen. “You’re late!”

“You could try thanking me!” said Phillip. “I was the one that broke the spell, or whatever that was. I think.”

“Oh!” said Ruby suddenly, for she, Emerald, and Diamond had returned as quickly as possible when they realized the curse had been broken. “I forgot about that part.”

“Which part?” asked Diamond.

“That part,” said Ruby.

“Oh, that part!” said Diamond.

“What part?” asked the king.

“True love’s first kiss! Of course!” cried Emerald.

“Wait a minute, love?” said Phillip’s father, the other king.

“Wait a minute, kiss?” said Aurora’s father, advancing on Phillip with a murderous look in his eye.

“Don’t you see?” said Phillip, shrinking back. “We’re already betrothed! Doesn’t this make things convenient?”

“Tidily convenient,” his mother agreed.

“Wait, what?” Briar Rose interrupted, pulling her hand out of Phillip’s. “This doesn’t make anything convenient. I don’t want to be betrothed to anyone.”

“What?”

“But you will be queen, Aurora,” her mother pointed out.

“I want to be queen even less than I want to be betrothed,” said Briar Rose. “I’ve already got a life’s ambition. I’m going to be a ninja.”

“What?” cried everyone.

“A ninja!” Briar Rose cried.

“I want to be a ninja!” chimed in Henry, who was Aurora’s younger brother (yes, sad to say, the queen had ruined her perfect record).

“No, Henry, you have to be king.”

“Shoot,” said Henry, pouting.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Wait, no. That’s not the end. What happened to Briar Rose was this: she left and went to the east, where she trained to be a ninja. After that, she returned home, where Phillip was waiting for her, and they were wed, and Briar Rose became the first ninja queen of the kingdom. And then she taught Henry all she knew, so he became the first ninja king of his kingdom.

So it all really was tidily convenient, as Phillip’s mother had assessed, which is really only to be expected, because mothers are always right about these things.

And they all lived happily ever after. Until they died, of course.

 

The End


End file.
